yesturday & TODAY

Well, today is 9/23/08. It is 5:48 am and I am getting ready to go to work. FUN!!
Yesturday I started with a new attitude and I am hoping that it lasts. I did around 2000 calories; which I wanted to do less and had planned too; but that last pack of crab and cheese wontons was calling and that put me at around 2000. Today will be a better day. I logged everything I ate yestuday and even went for a 20 min. walk around the neighborhood. Willie had fun with that. I think he peed and pooed everything out for the rest of the week. LOL
So today I am going to log my foods, stay out of the kitchen and my one goal is to take willie for a walk again tonight. I am praying for luck today and the strength to get through another day. I feel it will get easier as I go.

I lost weight!!

Holly cow, I lost 13 lbs. I am in amazement. I got my new scale today and when I stepped on it I was in shock. I thought the talking scale had made a mistake, but stepping on it twice confirmed it. I lost 13 lbs. I don't know how, probably from having this bad cold the last week, but I don't care how I did it. I did it. Lots more to go, but this is a start. WTG me!!!

It's only the 4th??

Today is the 4th of January and I have started my diet on a semi strong note. I didn't get my workout in yesterday, but I will make an effort to get a longer one in today. I had to work last night and run the dog 2 the vet in the morning; I know----excuses. Yes I have them, just like everyone else. lol At least my dog got a clean bill of health----$132.00 bill of health...LOL

But u can't put a price on companionship......I'll remember that when he is loving up my BF instead of me.....j/k. Anyway, I am doing the exercising, but the diet (food part) is killing me. How many times can that refrigerator call to me in a day? Doesn't it get the picture that inside I am saying no...I just haven't open my mouth to let that 2 letter word come out of it yet. I am trying hard. Maybe I will get a padlock for the refrigerator and see if that helps. LOL

New Years Eve

Well, tomorrow is New Years Day....2008...

A time to start over fresh and new...like taking a hot bath and feeling refreshed....

Psh.........yeah right. It's just another day of making promises we never keep, eating too much; the same old shit, just another day. But, on my end I want to make tomorrow count for something. I want to start to become a better person. I want to turn a new leaf, as they say. I just need to take it one second, one minute, one hr; and one day at a time. Start with seconds and go from there.

Today I did a trial run with my dieting thing; ok life change thing. I did ok; until we decided to get Chinese for dinner and 8 cheese wontons later I felt like a balloon that was needing to be popped. LOL Ok, so I will start over tomorrow..............Give it another shot. What can it hurt?

I cried today. The pain was so unbearable. I wished that someone would just make the pain go away. I tried to phone my doctor, but they left early today and won't be in until Wednesday again, because of the holiday. I have decided that I need to go and see the podiatrist. My left foot is getting so bad that I can barely put pressure on my heel. I walk like a wounded animal, limping around all the time and it sucks. I keep thinking; if only the pain would go away. I pray for one day of relief, but I really just want it to stop completely. Right now all I can do is cry to myself when I am alone......PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

will the pain ever stop

Well, today was rough. I had to ice my foot first thing this morning or else I would have never been able to even walk. The bone spur in my left foot is the worst and I really should go and get a cortazone shot...but I hate them....they hurt! Instead I stupidly continue to live with the pain. Some days I pray that the pain will just stop, but that doesn't happen. Unless I am asleep but what good is that because I can't enjoy it. Anyway, I really was a lazy ass today.....so what else is new.....lol Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day so I can get some stuff done before I go back to work on Monday.

Chipping away

Well, today is the 3rd day after Christmas and I feel like a newly stuffed Turkey. My weight is at a staggering high; I couldn't even guess the number...somewhere over 400 +. I feel every day like I can't take on another. My feet hurt me all the time; with my bone spurs and the wt. My whole body is one big pain. But I have vowed that as of January 1st I am going to begin again. I am going to rebirth myself and start out fresh and new. Like a newborn baby. I am going to change the way I eat, how much I eat and how ofter. I am going to start little slow steps in the right direction towards moving off the couch, instead of laying on it. I need to do this. I am 33 yrs. old and all I have been doing is eating myself to DEATH!! That's right....to death. It sounds like a strong word, but it is true. My body will probably go into shock at first, from all the trauma of change; but I will overcome. I have to. I want to live to see my daughter grow up, and marry or whatever she may do with her life. I want to be able to do all the things (Or even 1/2 of them) that I can't do now. Like: go to the movies---theater (not drive in); go to concerts; go to amusement parks (and not have to watch people have fun); etc....There is no limit to the things I can't do. I want to start saying "I CAN!!!"